A lot of divorce cases stem from the basic fact that someone’s expectations did not get met in the marriage. At times, this is the fault of their spouse, but the reality is that many issues come from unrealistic expectations based on marriage myths. People believe something about marriage that is not true, and then, when their own marriage naturally cannot give it to them, they decide to get divorced.
A few examples of these myths include:
- Marriages follow the same steps as a sort of “universal path.” For instance, people get married, buy a house, start a family, etc. The truth, of course, is that there are many paths and no two relationships have to follow the same course.
- A good spouse already knows what you want. In actuality, no one can read someone else’s mind. No matter how well you know each other, without solid communication, you and your spouse will sometimes fail to offer exactly what the other person is looking for.
- Marriage does not take work. People seem to think only of the positive sides of marriage, as if it should all be as easy as it felt on your honeymoon. The truth, though, is that marriage is challenging and it does take work.
- You and your spouse need to always agree. While connecting on major issues can help you, the reality is that you can have some significant differences. If you expect your spouse to agree with you all of the time, you are in for a surprise.
- You will feel closer and happier after having children. Yes, children can be a blessing and you will love them, but don’t assume it only makes you closer. It changes your roles in the family as you become parents. Kids also bring stress into a relationship. If things are not working, having kids is not going to fix it.
Maybe you believed some of these myths when you got engaged or when you got married. Maybe your spouse did — or still does. Either way, your marriage may very quickly show you just how different life can be.
For many couples, that’s a tough pill to swallow, and it can lead to divorce. They do not feel happy with the relationship. It doesn’t give them what they wanted it to. They envisioned something else, and they do not understand why their marriage does not mirror that vision.
When this happens, it can absolutely lead to a divorce. It is critical to understand what legal options you have and what steps you need to take if you do end that marriage.