You and your spouse have not had a good divorce. You are constantly on edge, because they are being aggressive and disrespectful to you. You have children together, and it is getting more difficult to interact, even in the few minutes it takes to get them off to your spouse.
You should both think carefully about how your situation is affecting your children before you let it get any more negative. Children know when something is wrong and can be negatively affected by conflicts in the home and between their divorcing parents.
It is in both of your best interests, as well as the best interests of your children, to make sure you reduce the stress of the divorce and find a way to keep your children out of it. How? Here are a few tips.
1. Don’t talk about divorce-related issues when your children are present
One thing you should stop doing immediately is talking about divorce when your children are home or around you. Deal with your conflicts over dinner, a lunch meeting or at another designated time when your children won’t be present. It’s even better if you can leave the home to talk about your divorce-related conflicts, so your children definitely won’t overhear them.
2. Even if you’re angry, only speak positively about your ex
You and your spouse may be angry at each other, but your children don’t deserve to be caught in the crossfire. Speak positively about your ex-spouse, because that sets a good example for your children. This may also improve your ability to communicate with your ex-spouse, since no negative comments will get back to them.
3. Remind your children that this divorce is not their fault
It’s important to tell children that the divorce isn’t their fault, even if you think they already know that. As a parent, you should understand that your child may need to hear you say that they aren’t at fault, that they’re still loved and that you will continue to be there for them no matter what happens.
You should explain that you are divorcing to make their home life more comfortable and to reduce the fighting in your household. Even young children should understand that their parents still love them despite being in two different homes.
Going through a divorce with children can be hard, but you can do it with the right attitude and support. Keep your kids away from conflict, and you will see them rebound much more easily.